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Sunday, April 3, 2011

White Cat, Steeler Fan and Spring Cleaning

As you may remember from my Super Bowl post, Willie is a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. And of course the Steelers team colors are black and gold. He is also a huge Iowa Hawkeye fan. Colors, again, black and gold. As such, he has a lot of black apparel and fan paraphernalia. Including, but not limited to a black Steelers rug in his "man cave." 

Mia, our very white, very thick haired cat loves this rug. She lays on it often. She rolls on it leaving a multitude of evidence behind. The rug is never completely black even after a good vacuuming. She also leaves evidence of her existence on a lot of Willie's clothes. This does not make Willie happy.

We have been doing some spring cleaning. I was cleaning the hard wood floors upstairs. As I swept the floors to prepare to clean them, I swept up enough Mia hair to make a whole other Mia. Mia is a big girl, so that is a whole lot of kitty fur. That is when I, the dictator, decided that it was time for a cleansing of the massive, (the massive being Mia, as she is one massive cat.) Bazinga was getting a bath today anyway, so Mia would be getting one as well.

I, the cruel, evil, sadistic dictator,  captured the poor, helpless and unaware massive. Bathtub filled, my terrible plan went into action. The massive was thrown into the chamber of horror. The water torture implemented, the massive had no recourse. She would not cry or tremble, she would not give me, the evil dictator, the satisfaction!
 (She actually did very well.) All the while the massive plotted her revenge on the dictator. Mia was taught by her guru Sierra, that when put in such horrific situations that one should plan careful revenge to be carried out at later time when it is unsuspected. The dictator, wondered what plot may be going through the massive mind. Then the dictator remembered the massive mind is not a clever one. Even if a plot of mass destruction was being hatched in the freakishly small head of the massive, it would be forgotten as soon as she got out of the torture chamber.
Once released from the grip of the dictator the massive fled to the front porch where she finished plotting her revenge. She would show me, she would turn on her shedding machine and set it on high, and then sit on one of the freshly vacuumed chairs.
 Bazinga, was well over due for a bath. He was next to feel the wrath of the dictator. He was not as cooperative as the massive. Being a much younger and less experienced fellow, he squirmed and fussed about the water torture. Had he any state secrets I'm sure I would have had him spilling his guts.
 After it was all over, Bazinga found it necessary to investigate the scene of the crime. Certainly, there must be an escape route for future reference. Or perhaps a way to sabotage the torture devices so that they may never again be used to harm little white puppies.
Although, even Bazinga himself must admit, he does look much nicer. Oh, and that strange stench that was lingering in the air around him, gone as well. He doesn't think there is any correlation, though.

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