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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Toilets..... grrrrrrrr

There is at least one in every house. No, I'm not talking about the toilet itself. I'm talking about the repeat offender. The one person, that every time they sit on the toilet,  it gets clogged. EVERY SINGLE TIME! The repeat offender in my house, (my dad, thought I should say that to keep from embarrassing, those that shouldn't be embarrassed,)   when he clogs the toilet, he clogs it good! I'm talking a solid dam with no leakage. This dam could hold back a tsunami. Any tsunami. It could save the world if it wasn't stuck in my toilet.

And stuck in my toilet is an understatement. I have plunged for hours and hours, I think my record is six hours, and it won't move. Arms sore and hands bruised, I got desperate.

Before I continue, I want to say something to the repeat offenders, you know who you are. I know it isn't something you do on purpose. I know you'd be happier if you didn't clog the toilet every time you had to poo. But, let me say this, FIBER IS YOUR FRIEND!!!! Eat veggies, or fruit or whole grains, something, anything! Robin Williams calls broccoli, "Nature's broom." He's right you know, but it doesn't have to be broccoli. Did you know that pears are very high in fiber? Grab a snack pack, you know you loved them as a kid. 

 Fixing the problem before it turns to concrete is is your first best plan. Drink something hot for breakfast every morning. Drink plenty of water or juice or whatever during the day. Find a way to make yourself regular. Stay away from laxatives, and stool softeners though, (unless a doctor has told you to use them) your digestive system will become dependent on them. 

Notice I said WILL become dependent on them. The bowel is a lazy cuss. It will sit back and do nothing if given the chance. Taking laxatives and stool softeners are just the ticket to make your digestive system take a permanent nap. They make life much too easy for the bowel, and it likes it that way. If you already have this problem, talk to your doctor about a bowel retraining program. If your problems are not due to medications, or medical problems, you, probably, can get your bowel to get its lazy butt up off the couch and working properly again. It will take time and dedication. 

My dad's problem is due to medications, and being old. He won't eat veggies, unless I sneak them in something else. I give him fresh fruit every day. He gets five prunes every morning. I get whole grain bread and crackers. I give him orange juice. Sometimes, even that doesn't help. If he goes a day without, well, going, I make him a breakfast full of fiber. Oatmeal, prunes, fresh fruit, and a magic ingredient. A poo poo platter, if you will. 

Oh, the magic ingredient? It is something that works every time! Mandarin oranges. I don't know why, or what it is about them, but they work EVERY TIME! 

However, if he goes even one day without BM..... 

 I needed a better way to clear a clog. I had called Willie at work and asked him to ask his plumbing people for ideas. The only one they came up with was a snake. I tried the snake. I HATED the snake! All it really did was make a big mess, and the damn dam was still in my toilet. It was completely disgusting! 

In desperation, I looked up clogged toilets on Pinterest. That's where I found it! It was so simple, I thought. There is no way it will work, I growled. I'll try it anyway, I sighed. 

Dish soap, Pinterest recommended. Hot water and dish soap. My hands and arms sore and tired, I got a tub of hot water and put it in the microwave to get it a little hotter. It said NOT to use boiling water, it may crack the porcelain, I did NOT want that. While that was heating up, I plunged as much water out of the bowl as I could and squirted a couple of squirts of dish soap in the bowl. I let it sit. When the water was hot, I poured it in the bowl and let it sit for a while. Supposedly, the soap and water helps break down the fats in the poo and helps break it up. After a while, I went and tried plunging again. Still no luck. It said letting it sit overnight can help. We only have one bathroom on the main floor, and Dad can't get upstairs. It had to get unclogged. I plunged what I could out again, and repeated the process and basically gave up. 

Willie got home later. I told him what was going on and that it might need snaked.  He went in to check it out, flushed the toilet, and it WENT DOWN!!! I was a combination of thrilled and pissed off! I was so glad it went down, but after six hours of plunging and everything else, I was mad that all he had to do was walk in and flush it! 

I started thinking about this whole dish soap and hot water thing. Was that what finally broke up the clog? Or was that just dumb luck that Willie got it to flush? Hmmmmm. 

Next time Dad went into the bathroom I told him not to flush. Just leave it and I would take care of it. When he was done, I squirted dish soap in and let it sit a while. 

Trying not to let my hopes get too high, I walked into the bathroom. Could it be this easy? I thought to myself. I flushed the toilet. DAMN! No, it wasn't that easy. The toilet clogged as usual. Don't give up. I went and started heating up some water, then returned to the toilet and plunged out the water I could again. Frustrated, I went to get the hot water. I poured it into the toilet, not expecting anything to happen. IT FLUSHED!!! It was a beautiful site! Clean water filled the bowl. I was so happy! 

Now, when I know dad is going into the bathroom to do his thing, I go in first and squirt some dish soap in before he even sits down. I figure, might as well get things going right away. It doesn't stop a clog, but it sure helps break it up quicker!

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