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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Great Mowing Adventure as Retold by Bazinga the Brave as Dictated to Becky the Great, (he made me write that)

Today was yard work day. That big fat lazy Mia, was no help at all. Willie, Becky and I had a lot to do. (No, I don't call Willie and Becky, Mom and Dad. My mom's name was Izzy and my dad's name was Pig, they look nothing like them. Besides, why would I call my pets, mom and dad?)

One of my jobs, being the most important, of course, is to chase the horrible and terrifying creatures from the back yard. The humans call these, squirrels and birds. I call them natures excrement and devil spawn. My names don't seem to translate well, that must be why they call them their weird names. I am very efficient at my job. One day I will catch one and show them that this is my yard, they must stay out!

Another of my jobs, is to eat all of the sticks in the yard. If I don't do this the big grass eating machine with tear them up and throw them away. This is a huge waste of a perfectly good stick.

 That is when the big noisy grass eating machine comes out. I am not a fan of the grass eating machine. It not only eats the grass, but also eats all of my puffball sticks and sweet clover pops as well. When it is done it takes days for my puffball sticks to come back. These are my most favorite treats, that greedy grass eating machine shouldn't take them all.
The the other noisy thing that always comes out is the scary rock throwing thingy. This is something that only Willie the Strong is ever allowed to use. It starts up and pulls him all along the fence and trees throwing rocks and sticks and dirt all over the place while it does. Willie seems to be the only one that has any control over this beast. He seems to be its lead dog. He controls it well, though it often throws  rocks at his ankles in protest.

Becky uses the grass eating machine. She does not seem to have the same control over it as Willie has over the scary rock throwing thingy. It pulls her all over the yard. It takes her around in circles. It pulls her through the jungles, and the dog eating trees. She tries very hard to control it but I see her struggle. Though, it looks like she is having fun.... I think she is just putting on a brave face. I try to rescue her from the grass eating machine, but for some strange reason, she ties me to the deck. I think this is very stupid of her. I would be very useful.

 Finally, Becky stops for a break and Willie the Strong comes in and rescues her. He has much more control over the grass eating machine. He is able to make it go exactly when he wants it to. He makes it go in straight precise lines. Maybe that's why he does the front yard. That's what people can see. His part always looks so much better.
Then, as a finishing touch, I come back in and polish the cut grass. This is the very most critical part and I do it well. I roll and roll and roll in the grass. It is exhausting, but if I didn't do it everything else would be for not!  (Besides, and don't tell Willie and Becky this, it is fun! And the best part! I don't want them to know, because I don't want them to do it instead. I LOVE this part!)

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