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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Skidmarks

If you have a delicate constitution, you may not want to read this. Yes, it is about THAT kind of skid mark, also the reason there are no photos. You're welcome.

I feel a disclaimer is also in order before I start, this is NOT about anyone in particular. Just a general question to be thrown out there to the great universe.

How is it that men can leave enough behind to make a skidmark, but not go bat crap crazy itching? I understand that they have obstacles that make it more difficult to get clean. That it takes a little more work to remove the offending debris. I understand.

How does it not, however, drive them nuts? Why do you never see them doing the "my ass itches twitch?" How do they not go screaming into the bathroom desperate to clean themselves the rest of the way?

They can leave a skidmark that can land a jumbo jet airliner and calmly go on with their everyday lives. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Does male poop lack some kind of itch enzyme? Does male poop excrete aloe vera and sooth the male tushi? Is the male anal area coated in Teflon?

I know I will never have the answer to this pressing question. I believe it is a male conspiracy. It is meant to drive mothers, spouses, and significant others insane every time they do the laundry. There must be a reason that it causes them no mind destroying, fire breathing, itch that makes them unreasonably irritable and impossible to live with.......

Oh, wait...... now it all makes sense!!!!

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