My brother had to have another EEG. Apparently they haven't ruled out seizures as a cause of my brother's condition. Yesterday when they did one, the tech finished it and took the leads right off. Today, she printed off a copy of the results and left to go show it to the doctors. She left the leads hooked up.
I got up to talk to my brother. I noticed that there was a mess in his bed. The tube they had put in to gather his stool had slipped out. I decided to go downstairs while they changed his bed and cleaned him up.
I went down and got some substance formally known as food and tried to eat. I called a Father at a local church that had called to check on Ben. I took deep breaths and said a little prayer. Not a prayer of thankfulness for pail watermelon and mushy lasagna, I knew God wouldn't believe that anyway. I'm pretty sure lying to God is a mortal sin. I said a prayer for healing or relief from pain. If God is ready to bring Ben home then please let it be painless. If he wants him to get better then please let it be quick.
My brother's religion is Greek Orthodox. My sister is Jewish. My father is Roman Catholic. My mother believed in Native American theology. Religion is not a binding factor in my family. Neither is it something that is causes tensions. One thing my mother instilled in us as children is a tolerance and even embracement of other beliefs and cultures. Which is probably why our own family is very diverse. I don't have a church, but I have very strong religious beliefs and a strong faith in God that has led me to believe in the idea that every situation has a multitude of outcomes. Something that may seem horrible or terrible at the moment it is happening to you may be the best thing that can happen to you in that situation. It may take decades before you know that, but you will, one day, know it. I have learned over the years that when you pray your heart out for something, and God says no, which he will, one day you will know why. When you finally realize why, you will look back and see, "damm, God really knows what he's doing." So, I've learned to pray for what he thinks is best, rather than what I think I want. When I do that it is with an open heart, I am often amazed at the outcome. Usually something I would have never thought of.
I got back to the room, my brother was still hooked up to the EEG. I asked the nurse and he said they were still evaluating the results. If they find something they may still leave him hooked up. I put on a gown and gloves and went in. My brother was restless. I hooked up his iPod to a little speaker I have, found orthodox chants and turned it on. I stroked his forehead which seems to calm him. While I was standing next to him his nurse came in. "Well I have a little good news," he said, "his labs came back cdiff negative." It wasn't much but it was worth a little celebration. I looked at Ben and repeated what the nurse said. Ben had been fighting the CDiff bacteria for months. Round after round of potent antibiotics. Soon to be followed by yet another bout of relentless diarrhea. Now it is FINALLY gone. I thanked God, ripped off the gown and gloves and returned to stroking Ben's forehead.