I Learned How to Make Memes, Not Necessarily a Good Thing

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Bring Randy the Pig Home

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The Brave and Wonderful Adventures of Mia and Bazinga

Mia and Bazinga were busily sleeping the day away, when suddenly a strange, loud, screeching noise woke them both with a start. "What did you do?" Mia growled at Bazinga.

Bazinga looked at Mia, and just as he was about to answer they heard the noise again. "What is that?" Bazinga asked Mia. They both looked at each other in horror, not knowing what to expect next.

They carefully slunk down the stairs, peaking around the corner to see what was at the bottom. Seeing nothing, they continued down until they reached the living room. There they heard the noise again. Where was it coming from?

They peaked their heads around the corner and looked into the kitchen. The back door had an ominous shadow darkening it. "What is that?!" Bazinga said with a shudder.

They slowly approached, the back door. They hid by the refrigerator waiting to here the sound again. "You go look,"Mia demanded, "you've been out there before. You must know what it is."

Bazinga slowly crept up to the door. His body trembling more and more with each step. He got to the door and stood on his hind legs to see what was going on. As his head rose up to be able to see out, the shadow of the mighty beast on the porch poured over him. He looked up, and up and up. There it was, looming over him, the scariest thing he had ever seen.

He slowly backed away from the door, and slunk back to Mia. "We need a plan," he whispered. He looked around the kitchen, and found a perfect weapon of self defense... a rawhide stick. He picked it up and handed it to Mia. She shoved it back at him. They stared each other down waiting for the other to take the lead. Bang, bang, bang! Came from the back door. They both jumped and turned in terror.

They looked at each other, and with a nod decided to act. They picked up the rawhide, together and ran full speed at the door. They crashed through the door, leaving a huge hole in their wake. They turned to face the intruder. Its shadow covered them. They ran forward to gain the advantage. Suddenly they were lifted from the ground. Entangled in vines and leaves and being poked by tiny spears.

It had truly happened! They had been warned by many and they scoffed at the idea. They now knew that life would never be the same. Out of the shadows, they could now see the evil attacker. It smiled an evil smile at them as it held them high in the air.

It was..... the pumpkin patch! It had taken over the yard and now had its eye on the house. Mia and Bazinga had to do something. They found a way to break free and get back into the house. The pumpkin patch extended a leafy vine in through the hole in the door.

There was but one thing to do. Bazinga, as a diversion, barked ferociously at the intruder. Mia, quietly and sneakily, snuck back over to the door. She took a deep breath, looked back at Bazinga, and stepped toward the gangly arm. She then, rubbed up against it, leaving behind a smothering layer of clingy fur. The pumpkin vine recoiled in disgust. It started coughing and choking. It pulled back out of the house. Bravely, Mia went out after it. She ran thru the patch and left her fur flying throughout the monstrous plant. Bazinga close behind barked and growled until finally the patch returned to the garden and promised never to stretch beyond it again.

Proud of their brave accomplishment, Mia and Bazinga went back into the house. They knew they had just saved the world. They needed a nap!

What to Do?

Willie went back home to Des Moines today for a long weekend full of family and fun. I am very happy for him, he has rarely had chances to go home. He had a nice long weekend worked out and went home for a family reunion. He was so excited that he was up before 5:00 am and out the door quickly.

I am happy for him honest, but very jealous too! I have had many occasions to go home though. I was busy today and will be Monday though and couldn't leave. Since I have had so many times to go home, I didn't want to make him wait till I could leave and then come back early. He deserves a nice long relaxing weekend at home.

That leaves Bazinga, Mia and I on our own for the weekend. Bazinga seems to have decided that total and complete relaxation is the most important item on the agenda. What he doesn't know is that a B-A-T-H is on the agenda as well. That will happen tomorrow.  I'll let him have his illusion of paradise for tonight.

Beyond sleeping the weekend away as my dog and cat seem to think is ideal, I am trying to think of something to do. I have thought about exploring the scary room in the basement. Bazinga and Mia know that is a very bad idea. They are both very sure that there is a monster in there that will eat me. They can't bear to think about that. It completely and thoroughly terrifies them to the core. After all, if I get eaten by the scary room monster tomorrow, who will feed them until Monday when Willie gets back? They have scolded me for being so selfish. Of course, once I throw Bazinga in the bathtub he may decide to feed me to the scary room monster and take his chances till Monday. Such a fickle little fellow. Mia will save me though. Being fed is very important to her.