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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Ever So Distressing News

 A week or so ago I heard the most terrible news. It frightened me to my very core. My soul was shattered and left scattered about the floor. I find myself compelled to share the news. I worry that you also will be shaken, and disturbed, but it is something you must know. The fate of America and everything we hold dear is in dire straights. If we can't reverse this horror of horrors, our children and grand children will be deprived of the most important of American traditions.

What could have happened to put such a terror through my very being? Brace yourselves, this news is very hard to hear. If you have children in the room you may want to turn the computer away from their sight line. Those who are easily set to tears may want to stop reading now.

Ok, here goes. A beloved American institution, has filed for bankruptcy. Hostess, the company responsible for Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Ho Hos may not be around for much longer. A shudder just went up my spine just thinking about it. There is something sad and dismal about the thought of a future America with out Twinkies readily available. What will state fairs shove on a stick, batter, deep fat fry, and and sell to fair goers? Ok, ok, bad example, state fairs do that to everything. Especially, the Iowa State Fair, that's why I love it so.  But I digress.....

My personal favorite of the Hostess treats are the Raspberry Zingers. The artificially flavored and colored raspberry goo, covered with coconut surrounding a cream filled Twinkie is a taste sensation that cannot be replaced. Zingers have gone through this before. The company that originated the Zinger, in an attempt to cut into the profit margins of the Twinkie and make some bucks themselves, Dolly Madison, went broke years ago. For whatever reason, Hostess decided to save the Zinger from total extinction. I was very grateful for this. Dolly Madison may have disappeared but my  Raspberry Zingers lived on. Who out there will save them this time?

Who will make these fabulous, if totally absent of nutritional value, snack cakes if Hostess can't find a way to survive? Who out there has the technology to create fake cream filled, pretend sponge cake wonders with the shelf life of an uncut diamond? How will Kahlen ever know the joy of digging into her lunch bag on a class field trip to find a squished up Ho Ho? Remember those special moments? First the disappointment of seeing your snack mushed up by the apple sitting on top of it, but then the excitement of pealing it off of the card board liner and licking the smashed remains off of the cellophane wrapper.

We must stop this tragedy in its tracks. Please, if you are reading this, stop! Get up and go to the store, buy a Twinkie, or Suzy Q, or my happy little favorite, a Zinger. Let's stop Hostess from going the way of Dolly Madison. You don't have to eat them, just buy them. Put them in a safe somewhere and one day you will have them for your great grandchildren. They will still be in perfect condition, barring a nuclear holocaust. Even then I hear that cockroaches and Twinkies will be all that survive.

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