Five Reasons I am a Horrible Housekeeper

 I am a horrible housekeeper. I admit it. I am rarely ashamed of it. It does drive Willie a little nuts though. I have often thought that I should try to change this behavior, but decided I needed to study it first to learn the how to fix it. So, I have come up with the five reasons I am a horrible house keeper. Perhaps knowing the problem may help me to change.

1. I hate house cleaning. By hate, I mean, I absolutely positively abhor house cleaning. This I think, may be the most important reason for my lack of housekeeping ability. See my dining room table, look fast, you won't see it looking like this very often.

2. I'd rather hide it than clean it. Thus, the roll top desk. If there is one thing a roll top desk is good for it is hiding big messes that you'd rather not deal with. It efficiently hides everything from unpaid bills, to junk mail, to that strange thing your spouse brought home that you aren't quite sure what to do with.

3. I'd rather do anything than clean. By anything, I mean.... anything! I'd prefer getting a total body wax followed up by a colonoscopy followed up by a pap smear, which it seems I can conveniently have done at Walgreens according to Fox and Friends. (Thanks Colbert.)

4. I have more important things to do than clean my house. You know, like watch TV, or sit and stare out the door with Mia and Bazinga. This is a very important activity. If we don't do it regularly our eyes will burst into flames and fall out of our heads.

5. I just don't care that much. I am basically a lazy person and cleaning is work.  Left to my own devises, I would likely let dust accumulate until I could plant crops in it. It's probably a good thing that Willie is here to keep me in check. I guess I'll have to hit rock bottom before I will ever recover. Good thing I took the time to study my behavior, however, otherwise I would have had to do the dishes. Whew, that was a squeaker.